Bev's Blog: Her Wisdom

Death and Dying. Dedicated to Kathy


Today I received an email from a friend who wrote that her pre­cious mother had passed away last night. My heart hurt for her as I know losing a parent is one of the most difficult situations we will ever endure. After reading her email, I decided to write about death and dying and dedicate Her Wisdoms to Kathy in honor of her beloved mother.

Releasing a loved one back to the heavens is not an easy process, mainly because of our cultural views of death and the dying pro­cess. Much of our collective consciousness views death as a form of punishment, an unnatural event – instead of a natural and nec­essary part of human evolution. Consequently, few of us have the appropriate skills to support ourselves through this difficult stage life.

The skill we need the most is letting go. We feel guilty, find it un­thinkable, and in some ways find it wrong to let go of a loved one. We even find it arduous to let go of our worn out relationship, jobs, businesses, or a material objects – even if they are destroying us!. Instead we fight, resist, negotiate, pray, keep artificially alive, pour energy into them – only to end up prolonging the inevitable of nature – dissolving what she has created or co-created. A law of nature that we do not like is her power to destroy. We love her power to create, but her equal opposite gives us pause. Life can­not have one without the other, this as we know it is the law.

Interfering with Life’s unraveling racks havoc with the person or thing needing to transform or transcend. When there is a death of which we are involved, the challenge has come to us with a fer­vent message. Ask yourself, “What’s the message here for me?”

I learned the process of letting go when my father died. The gift that accompanied his passing was the truth about death. I came to understand that energy cannot die and that we human beings are energy. Therefore, we only change form in the death process. This understanding helps, alleviates, the fear around death. It would be a healthy thing if our loved ones, religions, and educational institutions would educate us on the truth about death and our underlying souls. This would equip us with the much needed skills to deal with the letting go process. Contrary, in the 21st century we are taught antiquated and often times superstitious methods of dealing with the “death angel” when she arrives. This negative stigma creates an enormous amount of unnecessary pain and suf­fering. However, this is not to say that we do not need to mourn, as this too is a natural and necessary process of letting go.

Wise teachers say, dying is a part of living, and until we have experienced the loss of a loved one, we may not comprehend this wisdom. However, losing a loved one can bring about enlighten­ment to us if we are open and willing to see beyond this physical world of form. The mind cannot accept death as a part of life. It is too frightening for our fragile egos to ever consider death; sub­sequently death creates confusion and drama in our minds. If we are blessed, at this time, when the mind cannot endure the suffer­ing and loss, our hearts will automatically take over and show us the truth… providing we are willing to see it. This is quite natu­ral to shift into our hearts, when our minds are in chaos, and find the peace that passes all understanding.

I admire Kathy’s wise words of acceptance in her email today about her much loved and appreciated mother. I hold compassion in my heart for Kathy and her family during this sad time of im­mense loss. Furthermore, I celebrate the life Kathy’s mother lived knowing that she gave her family wonderful memories to cherish in their hearts forever.

Memories never die and neither do the people whom created them. Feel the memory…. see the loved one… the two are insepa­rable!

Live Your Wisdom,

Wisdom Goddess Bev

© AW 2009, Revised © AW 2010

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