Bev's Blog: Her Wisdom

Comparing Yourself


Why do most of us constantly compare ourselves to almost everyone and everything?  Is it in search of who and what we are? Our identity? Or is it because everywhere we turn we are constantly bombarded with messages of unrealistic ideals that are impossible for anyone to obtain?  Whatever the reason, most of us have gotten the message loudly and clearly by the time we are a youngster – "You are not enough!" And to our detriment, these damaging messages continue into our upbringing and throughout our adult lives.

How do we expect to "be" our best at home, school, work, or play if we are constantly concerned about being "enough" and continually comparing ourselves to others?  When we do this, we become trapped in a constant cycle that never ends because there is always someone or something "better" to compare ourselves to. And so, we go on and on comparing ourselves and NEVER feeling as though we are "enough"! I find this process exhausting and often painful- how about you?

Comparing yourself to others can be poisonous to your well-being. It depletes your energy and clogs your system with toxic poisons that can be devastating to your emotional and physical health. How? By constantly comparing yourself and never feeling as though you are enough, you cause undue stress in your body, which constricts the natural life force within you.  Eventually, this crushes the beautiful spirit inside of you that wants to shine through as an individual and not as a "Copy Cat".

In order to free ourselves from this pattern and break away from this deadly thinking, we must ask ourselves, "Why do I have to be better or different than something or someone else? Why can't I just be me? Where does this obsession with being something other than me come from?" 

 If we look around us, we will see that much of our thinking is influenced by the messages we are "fed" by our society. Marketing campaigns deliver subconscious messages that make us feel "less than" in order to sell us a product or an idea. Friends, family, or acquaintances unintentionally, and sometimes intentionally, send us messages that confirm our feelings of inadequacy. They may even model for us the need to compare ourselves to other things or people, and so we mimic them & become part of the "norm".

So, how do we break away from this? Where is the joy of simply being ourselves, and can we find this joy and contentment without spending years and tons of money with professionals? I believe that we can, providing we are willing to "go into our hearts" and seek out our truth. This could be a risky venture because once we are into the depths of our heart, we must be prepared for a life-changing experience.

When we go into our hearts, we see the hidden truth of who we are. The problem is that most of us are not strong enough to listen to our heart for fear of finding some horrible lie about ourselves. But, the truth is that the heart, which contains wisdom, empowers us to love and accept ourselves just the way we are. And, as long as we listen to our head, which some call the ego, we will never measure up and will always feel the need to compare ourselves to others.

What would happen if you turned on your heart for one day and listened to it to learn the truth about YOU? How would your life change? Well, for one thing you would be at peace and have unbelievable joy – regardless of your state in life! The wisdom of the heart-mind cannot lie; neither can it cause stress, so it is easy to become aware of whether you are listening to "head talk" or "heart talk". When you feel pressured, stressed, rushed, and tense you are always having a conversation with your head-mind. When you are in the state of peace and contentment, you are always having a conversation with your heart-mind.

This is one of the very reasons why we created WisdomDollsTM and our book, "Sophia and the Seven Goddesses: A Journey to Self-Acceptance", to teach empowerment and how to overcome such things. Goddess Demeter doll is the doll of self-love and acceptance. She is not just a doll for young girls, but a tool for all females to remind us to love and accept ourselves just as we are so that we can be the person we are meant to be.

Demeter doll is meant to be a reminder of self-acceptance, and when she is placed near you, one glance of her triggers that acceptance from your heart to come rushing forth for support. She is a powerful symbol of how and why to love yourself.  Demeter doll teaches about the power of self-love and that before we can love another, we must first love ourselves.


Live Your Wisdom,

Wisdom Goddess Bev

© AW 2009, Revised © AW 2010

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