Bev's Blog: Her Wisdom

Letting Go and Finding Joy In It


Letting Go is good for everyone and finding the joy in this essential practice makes it even more beneficial. How do we find the joy in something that can be tremendously painful such as releasing those who have hurt us?

Constant spiritual and emotional growth only comes through the heart, and in order to grow we must learn to let go. The mind usually finds this a distressful action so it holds on. The mind convinces us that letting go will be hurtful and the mind knows that in letting go we have to take some responsibility for what happened. The heart does not hold on to anything and as soon as we are willing to present the situation or issue to our heart, It begins to process the problem and supports our mind to let go.

When we say that something or someone has “broken our heart” this is not a true statement. The heart can never be hurt or broken. It is the ego-mind that “hurts” and persuades us that it is our heart.

The pain we are feeling is our emotional heart and this is a part of our mind, not a function of our hearts. Try not to be confused as the mind is tricky and we must become aware of when we are in our hearts and when we are in our minds, otherwise we will never completely “let go and forgive,” consequently never living an empowered life.

I know the above “forgiveness stuff” can sound like poppycock because letting go means ya gotta give it up!   And you might have to dig deeper down inside of yourself and pull out some “flexibility” so you can be free.

 Flexibility is at the core of the letting go process. The ability to bend and yield as needed is a central element of strength.  It’s the capacity to be flexible that enables a fragile willow to outlast a mighty oak. It’s the capacity to yield that enables a skyscraper to withstand the massive force of an earthquake. And it’s the ability to be personally adaptable that enables us to handle situations gracefully by shifting into our hearts in order to have a “change of mind, not a change of heart”.

There are many ways you can experience “letting go.”  You can do it mentally when you let go of beliefs, opinions, expectations, obsessive thinking, etc. You let go physically when you relax. You let go emotionally when you free yourself from fear, anger or guilt. You let go at the level of motives and desires when you stop wanting something (or stop wanting it so much). You let go behaviorally when you change your actions (you stop complaining or walk away from an argument)

Once you do let go… a vacuum is created within you and the Universe rushes in to fill this empty space… it is a law of physics. The space fills with whatever is in your consciousness.  So as soon as you “let go” be sure to fill yourself up with love, joy and “good stuff,”  allowing the grace of the Universe to bring the gift of freedom your way.  After letting go it is a good practice to sit and bask in the healing energy of forgiveness before getting up and attending to life. Taking a few extra minutes to “bask” helps to heal the mind and allows the heart to take over.

Below is a letting go and forgiving exercise that can transform your life. It is quick and SIMPLE so anyone can do it. Spend 5 to 10 minutes daily mentally forgiving everyone and everything that you are out of sorts with, or are concerned about, and be sure to include yourself. Subconsciously (or consciously) “it” or “they” will respond. Keep in mind that we are all connected, so letting go in a prayer state works, even if you are not face to face with the person.

Many people are never permanently successful, no matter what else they do, because they have not gone through a releasing and letting go process. Until people forgive, “true success” never comes.

The word “forgive” means “to give up.” Forgiveness is a pleasant inner act that helps us “give up” unconstructive and harmful emotions and clears away the blocks to our success, joy, and peace. As we practice forgiving ourselves and others daily, the results will be increased health, wealth and happiness.

My “Set Me Free List”:

Create a list of people, organizations, situations, or experiences of the past, or present, of whom you want to forgive and release. Consider unhealthy relationships, misfit jobs, remorse over missed opportunities, unrealized dreams, resentments and rage, guilt, disappointment, unrealistic expectations, and perfectionism you want to change and go back over the list I sent you last week too.

Next plan a ceremony to help you let go of the things on your list. Perhaps you will want to create a sacred setting or space where you can perform your release ritual.  Yes, this takes time and so does going to a therapist, a personal coach or your minister for help. So take the time, it is cost effective in every way, and do it yourself. Letting go daily prevents “things” from building up, therefore, issues don’t get blown out of proportion.

Sit in your prepared quiet space and read to yourself, or aloud, your list. Be with each issue or situation for a few moments. Listen to each one with your heart instead of your head. Place your hand on your heart to make sure you are in your heart center. Your head will want to hold on to these “things” as it will feel lost without having anyone or anything to dislike or to chew on. But your heart will celebrate the lightness that it is experiencing as you “let go” and set yourself free.

Create a “declaration statement”: “I let go and free myself from_______________________________”

Go through each thing or person that you want to release and repeat the above statement. As you release each thing be sure to bless it for this helps to shift your attitude about the letting go and allows the joy to enter.

Here are some other declarations statements that you may want to use:

I let go easily of this loss and trust what is next

I release the anger and am ready to move on

 I let go of guilt and I heal mentally, physically, and spiritually

I celebrate my liberation from what is over and gone

I am now free to move onward and upward

I am open to new possibilities

You may want to place these statements where you can read them daily until you are sure you have “emptied out.”  Sometimes letting go is like eating an artichoke. You have to remove one leaf at a time to get to the delicious tender soft center. So don’t get discouraged if you cannot “let go” immediately. Be patient with yourself and remove one leaf at a time and soon enough you will be down to your heart center, basking in the freedom of living in the moment.  “Holding on” takes you out of the moment and keeps you stuck in the pass.

Let go and enjoy the Holidays!

Live Your Wisdom,

Wisdom Goddess Bev

© AW 2009, Revised © AW 2010

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