Bev's Blog: Her Wisdom

The “Someday My Prince Will Come” Syndrome


Are you tired of women acting like self-absorbed princesses or bossy queens? Are you, perhaps, even weary of your daughter or her friends being spoiled little princesses? Isn't today's female past the point of being a helpless or demanding princess archetype? Well, if we are, then tell me why we continue to perpetuate this powerless syndrome of "I can't take care of myself" or "Someone please rescue me"? 

Unfortunately, this syndrome still remains alive, well, and growing in our culture. Believe it or not, this condition is being taught to our young girls in a world that supposedly knows better and understands the repercussions of rearing girls to be "little princesses" all their lives. I have to admit that it makes me extremely sad to see so many of our young girls still being taught by their parents and programmed by the media to be princesses instead of learning and understanding their innate beauty and power. In a time when so many women are building their own businesses and running for offices in our government, it's shocking to see this sort of backward movement in the rearing of our young girls! Millions of women and men continue to encourage their daughters to be princesses? Why are we doing this?

Even Disney, a company that touts to help create strong girl leaders, has their main female characters perpetuating the princess archetype through many of their old songs such as, "Some Day My Prince Will Come". But, we must remember, "She who waits upon her prince, will surely clean up after his horse." (This is a quote I borrowed from a very powerful woman whose name I have misplaced, unfortunately).

I will say that many of Disney's current movies portray young women as smart, confident, and career-minded; however, once these women finally meet their "Prince Charming", which is their main objective in the story I might add, they suddenly transform into submissive women who disappear behind their men! If we look carefully, we can see that these female characters dressed in sexy garb are merely helpless princesses disguised as heroines! Their only heroic act is finding their prince, not actually performing any remarkable feat that most male main characters do in Disney films. The underlying belief here is that for a woman to live "Happily Ever After" or to have a fulfilling life, she must find her prince!

The Barbie and Bratz dolls also perpetuate this "Princess Syndrome." Dressed in sexy clothes with a pouty look and demanding attitude, the Bratz dolls portray the spoiled little girl that gets what she wants by being manipulative and provocative toward men. Barbie remains the same perfect body and face, having the perfect life with her prince Ken to escort her around as she constantly consumes as many things as possible. And have you looked closely at the clothing these dolls wear? Would you actually want your little girl, or any little girl for that matter, to wear them? If not, then why would you allow her to play with them? What kind of messages as a society are we are sending these precious children?

Some messages say, "You are an equal and powerful being; own your power and be an independent woman!" But, many of society's messages focus on outward appearance and beauty instead of empowerment and self-reliance; therefore our young girls also hear, "You are only powerful when you find your "prince" and some day he will come to take care of you." No wonder this generation of young girls acts confused; we are sending them mixed messages!

What are we thinking as a society to allow such things to happen? What kind of world are we creating when we teach our girls to come into partnership with their mates as dependent, helpless, little princesses instead of the powerful beings that they are? When do we as women bond together to stop this nonsense? We know that we must empower ourselves before we can empower others, especially our daughters and granddaughters. And we must ask ourselves the haunting questions, "Why are we encouraging such dependency and inequality?" Why do we continue to support things that our hearts reject when we know better?" Are we acting unconsciously and irresponsibility toward our youth? What have they done to deserve such disrespect?

When we know better, yet continue to support these beliefs, we become a part of the problem. The next time you see a young girl, check yourself to see if you make comments like, "Oh, you are so pretty", "Your hair looks really nice today", or "Your dress is so lovely." Comments like these may be genuine and well-intentioned, but when we continually focus on outward appearance and material possessions instead of on internal attributes or strengths, we become enablers of the "Princess Syndrome". Instead, we should say things like, ""Wow, you are incredibly powerful!", "You are an amazing, creative young lady!"  and "What a great leader you are!"

Young girls and women need to know early on that they are "born goddesses" and have innate powers to do anything they want, including finding the right mate without becoming a princess and pretending all of their lives to be weak. The princess condition affects every area of a female's life and can remain with her her entire life. Once considered a princess in the minds of family and friends, it is very difficult to be acknowledged as anything else, and it takes a lot of work to overcome this "dis-ease".

Balanced and powerful feminine energy is so needed in our world today – in every home, business, and organization. Teaching our young girls to be princesses and supporting this archetype only creates imbalance and disharmony and more of the same. According to Carl Jung and Joseph Campbell, an "archetype" is a belief held in the collective consciousness of the world. If enough people believe in an archetype, it will become acceptable and the norm for everyone. "Princess" is a powerful archetype, a social creation, which continues to cripple our girls, our future leaders – if they ever find their personal power to become one. As a society of women and men, we must work to change this existing collective thought or consciousness and create a new one that supports and empowers women and girls.

We must support our young girls in moving away from the "princess syndrome" and into the new paradigm of the "goddess". A "goddess" is a female who has found her inner power and lives an empowered life. She is happy, content, balanced, and fulfilled. She lives an empowered life and empowers everyone she meets. A "princess" is a female who is always searching for her power outside of herself and lives in a make-believe world. She is sometimes happy, sometimes content, rarely balanced or fulfilled, and always looking for someone that she can "suck" power away from to make herself feel good.

In a nutshell, being a princess is about having power over, while being a goddess is about recognizing power within. We continually "dis-empower" our children when we teach them to have power over others, or that others have power over them. Instead, we need to teach them that they have their own power and do not have to depend upon anyone else for it. Reminding them of this allows them to trust their hearts and to use their wisdom. Our children are born with innate power and wisdom, and it is up to us to remind them of it. How empowering it is for them to know that they have this innate power and wisdom that they can depend upon at all times? How much easier would it be for them to stand tall when confronted with life's temptations such as drugs, alcohol, and sex? Research has shown that kids make better decisions when they have a high self-esteem and feel a sense of empowerment in their lives. Showing our children how to use and trust their innate power creates a generation of young girls who will say, "I can take care of myself," and "'Happily Ever After' starts with me!"

Our book, "Sophia and the Seven Goddesses: A Journey to Self-Acceptance", was written to teach empowerment to women and girls, and to help them find their power within. It is a powerful tool to help all females overcome the "princess syndrome", and will be released the first week of August. Our book teaches that every female is a born goddess, meaning that she does not need to go outside herself to find her power, but instead must look within herself. Which will it be for you and yours? Going 'within' to find your inner power of going 'without'?

Here is a poem that I believe you will enjoy, written by one of my favorite artists and poets:

She Who is a Goddess
She's past the point of being
A demanding and self-absorbed princess
She's given up the persona
Of the bossy queen
Shunning all that silly sovereign hoopla
She has elevated herself
To the loftiest status of all
She is, truly, a goddess
(Besides, who wants to be a queen
When you can be a goddess?)
She is finally at peace with
Everything about herself
Every wave of her hair
Making her an incredibly
Sensuous and radiant being
Indeed, she is a legend in her own mind!
By poet and artist, Suzy Toronto 2003.


Live Your Wisdom,

Wisdom Goddess Bev

© AW 2009, Revised © AW 2010

One Response to “The “Someday My Prince Will Come” Syndrome”

  1. Loura Finni

    This is a well done article that I have bookmarked for future reference. Have a wonderful.

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