Bev's Blog: Her Wisdom

Victim OR Victor? You Decide!

“Life happens through us, not to us” seems like an odd concept, yet it is true. The good news is this truth allows us to change our lives, if we need or want to.

When we desire to change, to grow personally and spiritually, we first need to become aware of how we think of and view ourselves, and how we think the Universe works. Then we need to explore those conscious and unconscious thoughts to bring about our transformation. Consequently, we first have to ask ourselves:

Do I believe things happen to me? (Victim belief) or;

Do I believe things happen through me? (Victor belief).

When the answer is victim, we need to examine our core beliefs about ourselves and how the Universe works. Becoming aware of our unconscious thinking patterns in our lives is not easy. These patterns can make or break us; therefore, we must dig in and do our inner work. Then we can transform the victim to victor and live an empowered life. (This transformation does not happen overnight. We must desire to change and be willing to put in the effort.)

When we become aware of our motivations, and challenge our assumptions, we can move forward to create the lives of our dreams. Without that step, we will repeat the same old patterns over and over again.

Taking a “time out” to discover our underlying patterns, and habitual thoughts gives us the ammunition we need to heal and live an empowered life. The results can catapult us into an unimagined beautiful abundant world, which we all deserve.

Questions to ask yourself during your time out periods:

  1. What is the recurring pattern or the obstacle that continually shows up in my life when I set an intention or goal? Do I sabotage myself?
  2. Each day for the next five days, jot down your answers to the following questions:

a. What is my negative self-talk? Examples: I never seem to do anything right. What’s wrong with me? I’m inadequate. I’m not appreciated or respected, etc.

b. What are my beliefs about the Universe and how it works? Examples: The world isn’t fair. I can’t seem to get ahead, etc.

c. What are my beliefs about other people? Examples: People don’t support my goals or dreams. I get passed over for others yet I am as good or better. Others let me down. People don’t like me, etc.

When you get in touch with your critical self-talk, go a little deeper. Recognize what underlying beliefs support your negative chatter. Here lies the culprit, the immature self, who needs to hear the truth and who you are. You must have a conversation with this “self” based on your heart wisdom, leading you to transformation once the culprit hears your soul’s truth.

Questions and steps to support your transformation:

  1. What feelings arise when you think or say these negative things to yourself? Where is this feeling located in your body when you think these thoughts? This huge indicator shows your body is holding on to false beliefs; creating tremendous stress. You need to release them, not only from your mind but from your body too.
  2. Study what you wrote down. Meditate and pray about these things. Go into your heart and ask your soul for the truth about these feeling and thoughts. Listen to your intuition for the answer, and then allow your soul self to speak the truth to that misguided self.
  3. Take action by forming a relationship with your soul allowing her to advise the misguided part of you to bring about healing and wholeness.

Often, we have two different “selves” living within us. One is our mature wise adult-self guided by our soul. The other self is our younger immature self, who has not fully matured and needs support from our soul. This immature self may lead our lives, but she does not have the wisdom to be in the driver’s seat. We have to grab hold of the wheel, and educate that part of ourselves about the truth of who and what we are and how the Universe works.

The “secret” is to form a relationship with the two selves, and allow the soul self to teach, support and enlighten the immature self. Sometimes we have not formed a relationship with these two parts of ourselves; therefore, the immature self cannot evolve and release her false beliefs.

Wisdom Challenge

I encourage you to give these simple exercises a test. Keep a log for one week of your self-talk. Study and meditate on what you have written. Ask your heart wisdom to guide you to see the truth about yourself, and then share that truth with your immature self. I promise after doing these exercises consistently for a few weeks, you will live a brand new exciting, fun, rich life.

You’ve Got It, Too,


For more details regarding "How the Universe Works Through You, and Not to You," I highly recommend that you check out the good work of Katherine Woodward Thomas and Claire Zammit at: It will exceed your expectations.

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